Two men were crawling through the desert.
They came to a market place. They went to the first stall
and asked for water, but all the stall keeper had was jelly,
ice cream and hundreds and thousands. They checked the other
stalls but that was all anybody was selling. They left the
market place and crawled on through the desert. After a
while one man turned to the other and said, "Well, that
was a trifle bizarre."
Jesus said to Lazarus, "Lazarus, come forth." Lazarus came
fifth and got a toaster.
Three pieces of string were walking down the
road. They came to a bar and the first piece of string went
in and asked for a drink. The bartender said, "We don't
serve pieces of string in here."
So the pieces of string walked on to the next bar and the
second piece of string went in and asked for a drink. Again
the bartender said, "We don't serve pieces of string in
They walked on to the next bar and, before he went in, the
third piece of string tied himself in a knot and unravelled
both his ends. He went in asked for a drink. The bartender
said "we don't serve pieces of string in here, are you a
piece of string?" The piece of string said "no, I'm a frayed
Q. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
A. Open the door and put him in.
Q. How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
A. Take out the giraffe and put in the elephant.
Q. There is an animal convention on, which animal is not
A. The elephant, because he is in the fridge.
Q. How do you get across the crocodile infested
A. Swim, all the crocodiles are at the animal convention.
Thanks to Aonghus Maher for sending in these jokes.
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