Platinum Clubhouse Newbridge, Co.Kildare, Ireland.
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December 2003 Newsletter


The members and staff of the clubhouse are at present very busy getting ready for the Christmas Season.

On the 9/12/03 we have our Mulled Wine Morning in the clubhouse. On the 17/12/03, all the members and staff are going out for our Christmas Dinner in Swift’s of Newbridge. Our Christmas tree is up, and all we are waiting for now is for Santa Claus to bring us our Christmas Presents.

May I wish all our readers a very happy Christmas and a peaceful new year. I would also like to thank all the members who have done up articles for the newsletter over the past year, and we are looking forward to more articles in the new year.

If anyone has any articles or comments they would like to submit please e-mail them to us at:


Admin Unit

Invitation cards prepared and posted for Mulled Wine morning. We hope to have a large crowd here that day. Also our Christmas cards were designed and printed. All that remains is for them to be posted. Attendance figures were completed for the month, and inputted into the computer.

The website is currently being updated and we are looking forward to completing that job this month. A number of photographs were taken on the day that the ASK Network were here, and we look forward to arranging a visit to their centre to look at the proposed changes before they go live. We take this opportunity to wish all our readers a very happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

Tom & the Gang in Admin

Employment Education Unit

Peter has commenced work since the 17th of last month. Best of luck to him. All members are doing very well in Employment at the moment. Two members have recently increased their weekly working hours. One other members is hoping to increase his hours soon.

Carmel is very busy in the employment unit, job developing and sourcing various educational courses. Two T.E. sites are vacant at present.

Congratulations should have went to Stephen and Philip on their completion of the First Aid course last month. Chris, Anna, Stephen, Paula and Siobhan are continuing on their VTOS courses and doing quite well.

Patricia is enjoying her Computer class and getting on very well. She is putting into practice here in Clubhouse all the skills that she has learned on her new computer (Guess where that came from?) That’s the six marker question for all ye readers out there.

Don’t forget that the First Aid Course will conclude on Wednesday next. Many thanks to all those who got involved and to those who organised it.


Poetry Corner

Christmas Tree

Fairy lights on the Christmas tree
shining like magic in the night
a special sight for all to see
with many different colours of light
decorated with ornaments so fine
flashing glitter full of fun
standing still there all the time
where children’s hearts are won.

On the top shines a silver star
to remind us how Jesus found his way
a peaceful star shown from afar
and guided them a place to stay
gifts underneath this Christmas tree
a treat for each child in store
a special feeling it is for me
when I once was a child before.


The Smoking Ban

The Ban on smoking is drawing near
Fills the publicans with much fear
What will the consequences be?
To make the bars & lounges smoke free
Bertie demands the law you cannot resist
Which puts the country in a twist
No more can you go to a pub to smoke
I tell you all it is not a joke
Welcomed by non-smokers for sure
To make the air more pure

Will all the country one-day catch on?
When all the smoking in premises is gone
Could it be a dream come through
Or will the ban only reach a few
Frustration and chaos come to be
And the people be on bended knee
The ban to succeed will take its course
When the law is at full force
The law to succeed that is the question
Or will it reach it’s full dimension
In my opinion non-smoking in premises will prevail
Only time will tell its tale



Get Well wishes to: All our members who are unwell.

Birthday Wishes to: Martin K., Curt, John M., Angela

Q: What teapot can you not get a cup of tea from?
A: An empty one.
Q: What cold food is hot?
A: Mustard.
Liz-My friend fell from a window twenty floors up yesterday.
Jill-Did she hurt herself?
Liz-No she fell inside.
Q: Cleanliness is next to what?
A: Impossible.
Doctor-You must take four teaspoons of this medicine before every meal.
Patient-But we’ve only got three teaspoons.
Q: What beats a good wife?
A: A bad husband.
Q: What is it even the most careful person overlooks?
A: Their nose.
Q: Why are bakers so generous?
A: Because they give what they ‘knead’.
Q What is the tallest race in the world?
A: The Steeplechase.
Q How can you make a pearl out of a pear?
A: Add an L.
Doctor-What’s the matter?
Patient-A hospital.
Q: When is it bad luck to have a black cat follow you?
A: When you are a mouse.
Guest: I’d like a room please Hotel Receptionist: “Single, Sir.”
Guest: “Yes, but I am engaged.”
Q: Now that we have decided to get engaged will you give me a ring?
A: Of course I will what’s your number.
When Michael & Maureen went on a trip they stayed in a small hotel that advertised Bed and Breakfast. The trouble was that afterwards it was hard to know which was the bed and which was the board. Diner to Waiter- ”Why is there a lump in my gravy?”
Waiter-That’s not a lump it’s your steak.
Q: When is a tap not a tap?
A: When it is dripping.
Worker: “I’d like to have a day off for my mother in laws funeral.”
Boss: “So would I but she is the picture of health.”
Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: Meet you at the corner.

Mary to Freda-My little brother puts on clean socks every day. The only trouble is by the end of the week he cant get his shoes on.
Doctor Doctor, Come here immediately my wife has an appendix and she’s very sick, yelled a voice. “I’ll be with you right away”, the doctor said. “ Who’s speaking.” “This is Sam Marley” said the caller. “Go back to bed” said the doctor. “I removed your wife’s appendix four years ago and I never heard of anyone having a second appendix.” “Maybe not doctor, but did you ever hear of anyone having a second wife.”


The views, opinions and beliefs expressed in this newsletter are not necessarily the views of Platinum Clubhouse.
Any articles, items or pictures in this newsletter may only be reproduced following permission from Platinum Clubhouse.

Patricia, Breda, Tom, Philip, Patrick

Editorial Team:
Patricia, Tom, Philip, Breda

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