May 2006 Newsletter
Here we are at the month of May and looking forward
to the summer weather. We have had some good days so far, and the
days are warming up as well as getting brighter. We hope you all
get out and about to enjoy the summer weather. Thanks to everyone
involved in helping us to achieve our 3 year accreditation. Thank
you all… lets celebrate.
If anyone has any articles or comments they would
like to submit please e-mail them to us at: email@example.com
Nelson Eddie sang about it…” Love time.. May”! It’s notquite “June
is busting out all over” but maybe May has more romantic links
in a more subtle way. Happy birthday to my Mum and to Carmel (yes
the Carmel in Platinum!) this month. “One day when we were young
that wonderful morning in May you told me you loved me when we
were young one day” I think that is how the song goes. After a
very cold Spring our expectation of May is probably enhanced as
we all look forward to a somewhat delayed late Spring burst of
growth. This growth has it’s special charms even if daffodils
and crocuses and snowdrops are now over.
This brings me on to “bring flowers of the fairest, bring blossoms
the rarest” with May bushes, May flowers (there was an historic
ship called ‘The Mayflower’ also) May processions etc.
Very few sailors will not know what a Mayday distress call is
(or a Pan Pan). I also like to remember cowslips and primroses
in perfusion, the former in the fields and the latter under a
good uncut hedgerow with hazel and elder trees, mainly on the
sunny side of the country roads. Now fields of cowslips are rare
but thanks to forest trails that have been preserved we still
can see bluebells, wild garlic and violets and primroses at their
Well ‘have a good day’ … no what I mean is ‘have a romantic May!
Best from Lydia
Teacher “Which is further away, Canada
or the moon?
Pupil “ Canada”.
Teacher “Why do you say that”?
Pupil “Because you can see the moon and you can’t see Canada”.
Q: What did the secretary do with her nails?
A: She filed them.
Q: What’s your dogs name?
A: Don't know, he will not tell me.
Q: Which animals are the last to leave the ark?
A: Elephants-They had to carry their trunks.
Q: Why did the doctor come to the window?
A: It had panes.
A miner had just won a car in a raffle but seemed sad.
“What’s wrong” asked his friend.
“It’s this other ticket.
Why did I have to buy it?”
“Doctor doctor-I feel like a burger”.
“ Well here is some money. Go and buy one”
Q: What is the most popular food in heaven?
A: Angel cakes.
Q: What’s sweet, tall and French?
A: The trifle tower.
Q: Is there tomato on the menu.
A: There was, but I wiped it off.
Q When do children like school the most?
A: When it’s closed.
I am the beginning of sorrow, and the end of sickness.
You can never express happiness without me,
yet I am in the midst of crosses.
I am always in risk, but never in danger.
You may find me in the sun,
but I am never out of darkness.
What am I?
The letter S.
Q What’s the difference between electricity
A: You have to pay for electricity. You don’t have to pay for light.
Q Where does Wednesday come after Thursday?
A: In the dictionary.
Customer-”I have to return this carpet; which I bought from you
last week. You said it was in mint condition.” Shopkeeper-”So it
is madam. Look at the hole in the middle of it”.
Q: A customer complained to her butcher about sausages which she
had bought from him last week.
“They were all meat at one end, all bread at other” she said
“I’m sorry madam” the butcher replied. “In these hard times its
difficult to make both ends meat.”
Q: What animal is found on every legal document?
A: A seal.
Mary-“What’s your brother doing these days”
Mary-“I thought he’d apply for that job in ‘O’ Brines
Tom-“Yes he got the job”
Mary-“He’s lucky. My brother is unemployed and living above his
Tom-“How did he manage that?”
Mary-“He’s got a flat above the Social Security Office.”
Q: What’ s always in ill health and never in good spirits?
A: The letter L.
Pointing to some cows in a field a man said to his wife,
“its going to rain. If cows are lying down it means it’s going to
rain and if they’re standing up it means it will be dry”.
The woman looked rather sceptical. A little later she noticed some
Some were lying down and some were standing up and some were lying
“What’s your latest forecast” she asked sarcastically.
He paused and declared confidently- “Scattered showers”.
Accreditation Upgrade News
We are delighted to let everybody
know that in April, we received confirmation from the ICCD in
New York that we had achieved the requirements outlined by them
in order to succeed for a certification with a return visit in
This is a great boost to the Platinum Clubhouse community and
also profound news for all those involved in attaining such a
Many thanks to all our members and staff and all others who have
helped us to reach this milestone. We are still the only Irish
Clubhouse which has achieved a successful accreditation visit.
What a National Hunt Season
As the National Hunt Season draws to a close with only the Fairyhouse
and Punchestown festivals left, it is time to look back on what
has been a great season for the Irish at home and abroad. At Cheltenham,
the Irish had ten winners, one more than last year. Like last
year we won the Champion hurdle with Brave Inca, the Champion
Chase with New Mill, and the Gold Cup with War of Attrition. Other
Irish winners were, Nicanor, Sky’s the Limit etc. Then to put
the icing on the cake we won the Grand National with Numbersixvalverde,
trained on the Curragh of County Kildare by Martin Brassill. During
the National Season our jump jockeys were in top form with the
likes of N. P. Madden, A. P. McCoy, R. Walsh, Paul Carberry and
his sister Nina all winning big races. Now we look forward to
the Flat Season. We hope and pray that horses like George Washington,
Horatio Nelson, Art Museum, Frosty Giant, Reach for the Stars,
My First Day in Platinum Clubhouse
It was my first day today 10th April
2006 at Platinum Clubhouse Newbridge. I arrived here at 9:40 I
had to sign my name in a book and the time I arrived at. This
is so that everybody can be accounted for. Everybody made me feel
very welcome; one of the members made me a cup of tea. Later on
I was shown where to put my belongings. I met a lot of people
I knew which was very comforting as I was very nervous on my first
day. The staff and other members are very nice and helpful. As
I am only a prospective member at the moment, I hope that in the
near future I can become a fully-fledged member. I would recommend
it to anybody out there who is looking for a place to come for
friendship, a relaxed atmosphere, and fun.
Hello readers my name is Patrick
and I am here to talk about the conference myself and Carmel went
to up in Dublin. The day started early and Carmel collected me
at 7am I didn’t mind though as it was a long journey up and knew
I would get a few hours kip. When we arrived we met up with our
colleagues Dave and Geraldine from Conai Clubhouse. Just had time
for a quick smoke to calm the nerves and then make our way down
to the room where we would be giving our presentation. The room
was laid out exactly how we wanted it. Before any Presentations
could begin we had to go to the main hall where the different
workshops and the whole point of this conference were being explained
and just the low down on EVE progress in the last couple of years.
Then it was time for us to go through a run through of our speeches,
which I have to say I was looking forward to very much because
I had been quite nervous the week previous when we had been going
Dave and Geraldine went through theirs and just when it was time
for my mine we had to make our way back to the main hall to here
the second half of EVE talk. After that all the different people
went to the workshop they wanted to go to. The first session had
a good turn out and when everyone was ready we began our talk.
Dave started and spoke very well noting to look at the audience
while talking. Then it was Geraldine’s turn, who spoke well too.
It came to me then and when I started off I was a bit nervous
but when I got in to it I was happy with what I was saying. Carmel’s
turn then who talked about everything we had not mentioned and
then summarised the talk to finish. We took questions at the end
then and I think everyone was pleased with our answers and presentation.
We broke for dinner then and had a smoke and back to the second
session. It was pretty much the same as the first except we had
more Clubhouse people than not. When it was finished I made my
way home with Ian, Clive, Brid, Eileen and was delighted the day
That’s my story, thanks.
When washing glass, a drop of vinegar in the water
and plenty of newspaper give the best results,
with little or no streaking.
Remember to dry the glass as much as possible using the newspaper.
On Tuesday 4th April we went to Roll
n Bowl in Portlaoise straight after the normal closing time of
4 p.m. We had two lanes booked in the bowling alley. Mary drove
the mini-bus down and Eileen D was co-pilot. We had two teams
of four including staff. On the “A” team we had Patrick as captain
and the other members of his team were myself (Clive), Peter K
and Eileen D. On the “B” team Wesley was captain in his first
social of the club, he was joined by Mary, Michael T and Brid.
The first game went to the “B” team with Wesley proving to be
a bit of a “shark”. In the second game my team got revenge winning
handsomely and I was delighted to get a few strikes. For those
of you not familiar with the terminology a strike is when you
knock all ten skittles down in one roll of the bowl. We all thoroughly
enjoyed ourselves and myself, Wesley and Patrick all had a quick
game of pool and again Wesley beat us. He was impressed with his
first social and he said he would definitely go again. Finally
we went to Super Macs for grub and we were all delighted with
the cuisine and the service was excellent.
Get Well wishes to: All our
members who are unwell.
Stephen L, Stephen C, Tony, Annette C, Denis O C, Francis, Patrick
M, Pat H, Stephen M, Anthony & Carmel
Welcome to our new members: David
Congratulations: to Eileen on
becoming a grandmother for the first time.
The views, opinions and beliefs expressed in this newsletter are
not necessarily the views of Platinum Clubhouse.
Contributors: Lydia, Patricia, Patrick, Clive, Philip, Fidelma,
Editorial team: Tom, Fidelma,