Platinum Clubhouse Newbridge, Co.Kildare, Ireland.
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January 2004 Newsletter


Now that the Christmas Holiday period is over for another year, life is getting back to normal in the Clubhouse. All our members and staff had a lovely Christmas, and a peaceful start to the New Year.

Carmel Doyle takes up her job as Manager of the Clubhouse on Monday the 12/01/04, and we all wish her well in her new job.

All the members of the Clubhouse out on work-sites are back at work. On behalf of all the members and staff of the clubhouse may I wish all our readers a Very Happy New Year.

If anyone has any articles or comments they would like to submit please e-mail them to us at:



See him walk through the alley ways
Dragging his feet along the ground
With little worry he spends his days
And nowhere in particular is he found
He is unimportant to the everyday man
Rejected by society and left to carry on
For to survive he does the best he can
People don’t care whether he’s dead or gone

The winter cold grips him with its bite
Constantly walking along to try stay warm
All alone he must face the weary nigh
t With its twinkled star light to adorn
He snugs in a shelter of an old wrecked car
As weather beaten as himself but not aware
His thoughts dwelled in his mind wonder far
With memories of his loved one he once shared.

He awakes at morning with some fear
Another day born just to carry on
His bottle of wine bubbled beside him near
With another place to explore he is gone
This man must have dreams I confess
Or are his dreams cursed on this Earth
His life to us all seems such a mess
But to me his promised dreams are of birth.


Admin News

It's that time of year again when we have finished with the Christmas rush, post etc.
and begin to look forward to another year.

At the beginning of the month we changed staff again with Tom going to Catering
and Breda going to Admin.

Just to say thanks to all the members who have helped me to keep the unit running
as well as we have done, and good luck to Breda during her turn.

Thanks also must go to ASK Network Project who have updated our website for us.
Keep an eye on developments here as this is a “work in progress” with final decisions to be made by a group from Platinum Clubhouse who are due to travel to meet the group of ASK Network Project later in the month.

Happy New Year to all from the Admin Unit.

Patricia's Jokes

What month has 28 or 29 days?
A: They all do.

Q What do you do if a pen runs dry?
A: Run after it?

Q What do you call a priest on a motorbike.
A: Rev.

Q What’s the surest way of doubling a five euro note?
A: Fold it.

Patient: “Doctor I am suffering from a fierce loss of memory.”
Doctor: “In that case pay me in advance.”

Tom-You have three pairs of glasses.
Gerry-I have. One is for reading, one is for distance and one is for looking for the others.

Father-Why are you late?
Son-I twisted my ankle. Father-That’s a lame excuse.

Q When can a schoolboy leave the room with two legs and back with six.
A: When he’s carrying a chair.

Small Daughter- “How many days are left before Christmas?”
Mother- “Not many dear. Why do you ask?” Small Daughter. “I just wondered if it was time for me to start being a good girl.”

A woman gave her husband two ties for his birthday.
He appeared wearing one of them at his party that evening. His wife asked him what was wrong with the second.

Q In which game do you try to move backwards all the time?
A: Tug of War

Q Can you spell me your name backwards Simon?
A: No mis.

Teacher “How do you spell inconsequentially?”
A: “Always wrong.”

The teacher asked the class how many wives can a man have.
A boy put up his hand and said 16. Why? asked the teacher. Four for better, four for worse, four for richer & four for poorer.

Father: When I was your age I thought nothing about walking to school.
Son: I think nothing of it either.

Teacher: When do you like school best?
Pupil: When it’s closed.

Q What do you call a man with a number-plate on his head?
A: Reg.

Player-I do not think I can play today, I’ve got a bad back.
Manager- You’re lucky, I’ve got two.

Q Who was the fastest runner in the human race?
A: Adam-He was the first in the human race.

Q What do artist like to draw?
A: Their pay.

Q Why is it that every time the doorbell rings, the dog goes into a corner?
A: He’s a boxer.

Q What’s the cat’s favourite holiday resort?
A: The Canary Islands.

Q What do you call an Irish spider?
A: Paddy long legs.

“Doctor doctor, I feel like a spoon.”
“Sit down and don’t stir.”



Chilli con carne

You will need

1 Tablespoon salad oil
1 oz butter 2 medium onions finely chopped
2 cloves garlic crushed
4 oz bacon trimmings
1 ½ lb stewing steak
2 ¼ oz Tomato puree
¾ pint water
Salt & Pepper ½ to 1 level teaspoon
chilli powder
16 oz. can red kidney beans, drained

Preparation Time 15 minutes

Cooking Time 3 Hours

Heat oil in a pan, add butter and fry onion and garlic until soft and pale golden brown.
Remove from pan and put to one side.
Cut bacon into ½ inch pieces and steak ¾ inch cubes.
Add to pan and fry until pale golden brown.
Replace onion and garlic in the pan.
Add tomato puree, water, salt, pepper and chilli powder.
Bring to the boil, cover, and let simmer for 3 hours Add the kidney beans and simmer for 10 minutes. Adjust seasoning.

Quick tip

If you have difficulty in getting red kidney beans use a 16 oz can of baked beans in tomato sauce. The flavour is different but, with children, more popular.

The views, opinions and beliefs expressed in this newsletter are not necessarily the views of Platinum Clubhouse. Any articles, items or pictures in this newsletter may only be reproduced following permission from Platinum Clubhouse.

Contributors: who are they?!

Editorial Team: who again

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